Is this The Bad Place?
If it's just some torturous for-profit scheme to get us to think there is something wrong with our body...or carbs...or emotional eating then maybe we can opt-out more often. Maybe we can de-normalize, disrupt, and divest from this farce.
Buy One, Get One Free
This week I had yet another client tell me that a certain diet (rhymes with Hate Talkers) is the only one that has "worked" for her. My client is telling me that this diet has "worked" but she is seeking my help with overconsumption and general dis-ease around food — two almost certain outcomes of said diet. Never mind the yo-yoing of her weight that she dislikes.
How You Know You're Done Dieting
You see now that a diet by any other name is still a diet.
Whether it’s the traditional Weight-Watchers or Jenny Craig or the nouveau Paleo or Whole30 you know that if it asks you to follow rules, if it tells you that your body’s cravings can’t be trusted, if it makes someone else the expert, if it demonizes certain foods or entire macronutrients that it’s a diet.
Letting Go of What "They" Think
In the early months of anorexia the praise I received about my appearance and weight loss served as fuel for a dangerous fire.
“You look great!”
“What are you doing? You look awesome.”
“I wish I had your willpower.”
“Wow, you have a great body.”
A Day in the Life of Six Intuitive Eaters
Her: “I have a question.”
Me: “Go for it.”
Her: “What’s a typical day like for an intuitive eater?”
Me: “Hah! As if there is a typical day…"
Her: “I ask because we’re told all the time what a typical day looks like for a dieter. Every women’s magazine tells us what this it-girl is eating, or what that celebrity nutritionist recommends. We never hear or see what a normal eater eats.”
This is an exchange I once had with one of my Feast students.
Dieting is a Violent Act
I believe dieting is a violent act.
I don’t feel neutral, or calm, or indifferent about dieting. I feel quite clearly that dieting is a violent act that (predominantly) women are encouraged to perform against themselves.
I find diets to be physically violent, often leading to exhaustive cycles of weight loss and gain and sometimes insufficient calories (i.e. energy) and nutrition.
Defining What Works
Client: Well [insert diet du jour] is what’s worked for me in the past.
Me: Define ‘worked’?
Client: I was able to keep the weight off longer than any other diet.
Me: And how long was that?
Client: About a year.
Vanity's Other Name
A while back I went to meet my husband Justin for lunch at his office.
This particular day we met up during the peak of the lunchtime rush. After unsuccessfully scanning the cafeteria for an empty table Justin spotted a co-worker with two empty seats at his table. “Can we join you?” Justin said.
How to Make Peace with Food
Somewhere between a recipe, a step-by-step plan, and a map here are 10 ingredients I believe add up to making peace with food:
Learn to manage anxiety and feel feelings
I believe that most chaotic, restrictive, or overconsumptive eating is driven by anxiety. Manage the anxiety and you’re a giant step closer to finding ease at the table. Whether through pharmaceuticals, meditation, or therapy, anxiety management is key in walking this path.
The Illusion of the Bottomless Pit
"I am never full."
"The pain will never stop."
"There isn’t ever enough love."
"I will never not want to eat the entire grocery store."
A Sweet Middle Path
Sugar, specifically white refined sugar, has gotten a bad rap.
While I typically abide by a “to each their own” approach to food, it seems that this era is abundant in celebrities and influencers ‘coming out’ with their sugar-free lifestyle.
To many this seems logical and saintly. To me this is yet another extreme shift of the dietary pendulum that leaves people swinging between restriction and over consumption, more obsessed with food and less at ease in life
Hungry for the Impossible
“What if what I’m hungry for isn’t possible?”
This is a question I get asked not infrequently.
In fact, in a recent survey, over 50% of my followers reported having this question.
To start, let me say that it is possible. It truly is.
If that's all you needed to hear, off you go. If you want a few more thoughts, read on.
What I Know About Weight
I've spent the past 10 years immersed in the study of how people relate to our hungers, food, bodies, and yes, weight. I've looked at these topics academically, professionally, personally, spiritually, and just about every which way you can...here is what I know:
Separating Feeling Hungers from Feeding Hungers
We have all been there. Waiting in the grocery store check-out line when a young child sees a candy bar with shiny wrapping and in the blink of a reflex, reaches out to grab it. They see it. They want it. And just as quickly as their hand touches the wrapper their parent reaches down, removes their sticky grip on the treat, and says some version of “Not today honey.” or “We don’t need any candy right now.” and BOOM.
Primary Hungers
What are you TRULY hungry for?
No, really. I know I ask this question of you a lot.
But please pause. breathe. ask it again. What is it you are TRULY hungry for?
Emphasis on the TRULY.
Cake for Breakfast
“Do you see a distinction between healthy hungers and unhealthy hungers?” a podcast host asked me years ago.
“Give me an example of an unhealthy hunger?” I said.
“Like, I’m hungry in the morning and so yes, I am going to have that cake, I want the whole thing!” she replied with a slightly giddy laugh at the thought of this devious act.