Change How You See Weight Change

Here are just some of the factors related to weight fluctuations:

Metabolic changes , hormonal changes, side effects from medication , pregnancy, socio-economic class shifts, restricted & binge eating, grief & trauma, stress, returning to or away from intuitive eating, injury, changes in activity, depression, happiness, hydration, puberty, menopause, genetics…

Of these, only pregnancy in a thinner body can be seen with our eyes. I had a client who, over the past few years, had gained weight. I can tell you that at least five of the above factors were present in her life.

She came to our session stressed about running into an ex-boyfriend and wondering how she’d explain her weight gain to him. She doesn’t have to. She doesn’t have to justify the change in weight at all. And while people will assume to know why someone weighs what they weigh, you know what they say about that.

What really matters, for my client and for all of us is this: sovereignty. What matters is having a body and life that is our own. What matters is having the freedom to experience life’s inevitable shifts.

Weight changes. It changes daily, weekly, annually, and throughout our entire life. It’s normal. It’s human. Our society shames bodies for sure, but we shame bodies who change weight even more. Unless of course we idolize and worship the change (almost always a weight loss).

I want to make crystal clear: Weight changes. You don’t have to explain it. You don’t have to justify your weight or anything else about your body. Let your body finds it’s way. Oh, and try not to assume why someone else’s weight has changed. We really never know.

Emotional Auto-Immune Diseases

Allergies. Rheumatoid Arthritis. Lupus. Crohn’s Disease. Eczema. Type 1 Diabetes. Do you or someone you know have one of these conditions? Mostly likely yes. Those of us in the developed world are plagued by these and other autoimmune diseases.

Autoimmune diseases occur when our own immune system fails to recognize a part of our own tissues or cells as part of us, and instead sees it as a foreign enemy. Attacking. These are cases of mistaken identity. We become our own enemy when in reality, we’re not.

I wonder though why we don’t have a classification for emotional autoimmune disorders? I’ve rarely met a human being who didn’t suffer emotionally from confusing themselves with the enemy, and following suit with attack.

Both physical and emotional autoimmune diseases are equally misguided attempts to protect ourselves. Our immune system thinks it’s helping. Emotionally speaking, we so often think that if we shame ourselves, judge our hungers, and self-loathe that we’re making ourselves somehow better or safer. We speak to ourselves with disparagement because we want to be loved or just liked. We mistrust our hungers because we fear that feeding them will make us unlovable or judged by others. We all have our own best interest at heart it’s just that our emotional immune system too often gets confused and thinks that we are the enemy of our self. I may not be a doctor and I don’t know much about treating Lupus or Crohn’s Disease, but I do know a few tricks to get us on the road to recovery from an emotional autoimmune disease.

1. Practice seeing ourselves as an ally and not the enemy.

2. Know that any internal voice that is not kind, loving, or compassionate towards us is not speaking the truth.

3. Know that when we emotionally attack ourself our deeper intentions are good. We want the best for ourselves. We want to be safe and somewhere along the way various sorts of self-attacks appeared the path to get there. They aren’t.

4. Healing depends on our willingness to practice. We must notice our attacks, however subtle or seemingly harmless, and practice ending them without judgement. Notice. Let go. Make peace. Notice. Let go. Make peace. Mess-up. Start again. Notice. Let go. Make peace.

Cake for Breakfast

“Do you see a distinction between healthy hungers and unhealthy hungers?” a podcast host asked me years ago.

“Give me an example of an unhealthy hunger?” I said.

“Like, I’m hungry in the morning and so yes, I am going to have that cake, I want the whole thing!” she replied with a slightly giddy laugh at the thought of this devious act.

I smiled and said “I don’t think cake for breakfast is a bad thing. Are you connecting or disconnecting? Are you moving closer to your Self or farther away from your Self?"

That's the difference between a one hunger and another hunger: does it move you closer or further away from your Self? Does it connect you to your Self or disconnect you from your Self?”

It’s that simple. And, yes, it’s that complex...in that you can’t just follow prescribed rules of good foods and bad foods. Or good portion sizes and bad portion sizes. Or good times to eat and bad times to eat. Or good cooking methods and bad cooking methods. Or good food sources and bad food sources.

You have stay present. You have to listen inward. You have to remove judgement’s place at the table. Is this hunger moving me towards my Self or away? Listen. Ask. Allow. Allow. Allow. Feed yourself.

There is no reason that cake for breakfast can’t be the most nourishing act in the world.

This applies, of course, to hungers for things other than food. Hungers to quit your job. Hungers to buy something shiny and new. Hungers to be with friends. Hungers to be intimate. Hungers to wait. Hungers to go. Hungers to stay. Hungers to run away. or towards.

Which direction are you moving?