September 4, 2013
kate.northrup.headshot

A Well-Fed Woman seeks to find harmony in her dance of giving and receiving. This applies to food, for sure, and relationships, without question, but it also applies to money. The epidemic of hungry women extends beyond the table and bedroom into our bank accounts.

When I work with hungry women they almost always have tortured relationships with their money. And I get that, it’s another area where we’re not given a healthy model, not in the least. When it comes to money, as it does to food and sex, we socialized to feel ashamed. Shame about wanting or having too much money and shame about not having enough. Shame about what we don’t know and shame about what we don’t do.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Money can feel good. Really good.

Enter: Kate Northrup.

Kate’s been there. She knows, intimately, what it’s like to feel all tied in knots about money. Not that long ago Kate was in $20,000 of debt, though from the outside you might not have known it. Can you relate?

She didn’t untangle herself overnight, but she did over  time and along the way she made sense of her own dollars and cents.

Lucky for us, she’s captured her wisdom in a brilliant new book, Money, A Love Story.

If this an area you crave being more Well-Fed in, I  highly recommend getting to know Kate and grabbing a copy of her new book. I’m honored to share her words in this latest installment of The Well-Fed Woman interview series. Read on…

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Kate, what are you TRULY hungry for? 

I’m truly hungry for a world in which men and women know that they have the power to create the freedom to have the choice to do what they want with their most precious asset, their time. When we have the kind of freedom where we don’t have to make decisions on how we spend our time based on needing to trade hours for dollars, we can show up and be more present to our purpose, whatever that may be. I’m hungry for this for everyone and that’s why I teach people how to create financial freedom.

What’s a craving that you previously denied that you know happily satisfy? How has this impacted you? (not talking about food necessarily)

I’m still working on giving myself the pleasure of dancing regularly. It’s always been a passion, but for some reason after college I started denying myself of it. I stopped going to class and just didn’t prioritize it. Every time I dance I feel free and more connected with myself and to the divine. Going to class, even if it’s a Zumba class, is one of the most nourishing things I can do for myself.

What are you a conduit for? What comes through with ease, meaning, and spark?

I’m a conduit for practical wisdom. When I write I feel like my fingers just type and I’m able to teach things that I wouldn’t have been able to teach if I weren’t writing it out. I recently read back through my book on a final round of edits and to be honest, I couldn’t remember writing large parts of it. Information that the world needs just kind of comes through and I trust that if I’m compelled to write it, someone needs to hear it.

Favorite bite in recent memory?

Delicious spicy thai veggies with friends, family style, at Fresh in Bridgehampton, NY.

posted in interviews
February 7, 2013

shannon.wilkinson

 

This past December I was fortunate enough to score a spot on a cozy couch at one of Alexandra Franzen’s Write Yourself Into Motion workshops (if you have a chance to attend one – GO!). Nestled next to me was Shannon Wilkinson, a life-coach that is all about making change easy and fun. I didn’t know she was a life coach when I sat down. What I knew was that she radiated positive energy and joy. What I knew is that she was delightfully grounded in her body and at home in her skin.

After talking (and laughing) with her over the two days we spent together I discovered that she has some very rare superpowers that we could all benefit from…and that make her a deeply well-fed woman. Using her training in coaching, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and hypnosis (no she did not hypnotize me into writing about her…I don’t think) Shannon makes breaking through our mental conditioning (i.e. stories about why we can’t do something or why it’s too hard, etc.) and into the actions we want to be taking. You can find her at the fittingly named Perception Studios. I’m seriously considering hiring her and I don’t say that often. Enjoy…

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Shannon, what are you TRULY hungry for?

Connection. I hunger for connection with others. Seeing and being seen. I hunger for connection with nature, with things bigger than me. Mountains, oceans, skies, clouds, forests. I hunger for connection with myself. Ease and adaptability, knowing what I really want. 

What comes through you with ease, meaning, and spark? What are you a conduit for?

Smiles and laughter. Encouragement. Perhaps that’s why many people feel comfortable with me and tell me things. They don’t know why these things are important, and these things often seem disparate and unrelated. But to me, they make sense. I understand the connections, see the possibilities. When I make these connections, I know how to untangle any unwanted patterns, where to make the shift with ease, bring hope and possibility back into the most difficult of situations. 

What’s a hunger you used to deny that you now happily satisfy? How has this effected you?


When I was little I loved trying to keep up with my older brothers. I liked pushing myself in school and sports. I liked working really hard and doing my best. But then something happened. I only wanted to do things I was pretty damn sure I could do well. I didn’t want to risk making mistakes. I didn’t want to do things that were too hard.Later, as I delved into the personal development field, the whole being gentle and kind to yourself thing pushed me further away from that desire to challenge myself and push hard.In my late 30’s, I rediscovered my love for pushing hard, for having an I-don’t-know-if-I-can-do-this, kind of challenge in my life. Since then I’ve done things I never imagined possible for me. More importantly, I do it with complete kindness for myself, without overdoing it. It may be uncomfortable, but I’m not hurting myself. I’m not burning out. Instead, I’m finding greater ease, and letting go of fears and worries that are irrelevant in the face of true challenges.

Favorite bite in recent memory?


The last slice of holiday pumpkin pie on the summit of Mt. Saint Helens on New Year’s Day. Everything tastes better when you’ve climbed a mountain before eating it.

 

posted in full living / interviews
October 15, 2012

You might not know Margarita Tartakovsky, but I hope you know her writing. She’s the Well-Fed Woman behind PsychCentral’s Weightless blog and she consistently puts out some of the best content, according to her, about:

:: “fostering a fulfilling body image and life, at any shape + size. It’s about well-being, not weight.

:: building a healthy relationship with food and yourself. It’s about transforming your self-care, and finding self-acceptance and self-love.

:: becoming a clever consumer and recognizing when women’s magazines and other mediums tout unrealistic and damaging tips and standards.”

It’s no question that Margarita has a spot at my Well-Fed Woman table and I’m happy to share her words with you today.

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Margarita, what are you TRULY hungry for?

I’m truly hungry to let my creativity out. To explore and express myself in different ways, whether that’s poetry or painting (which I’m honestly intimidated to try). I used to draw as a little girl, and I loved it. I’d like to get back to that playful place, again. That place where I can create whatever I want without feeling self-conscious.

(For instance, I’m considering creating an e-book of my poetry, ACK, there I said it, and yet my inner critic is roaring from the rooftops about all the reasons why I’m not cut out to do it.)

I’m also truly hungry to let go, tune into what I’m doing – instead of getting distracted 800 times — and travel the world with my honey (hopefully a Mediterranean cruise this summer).

What comes through you with ease, meaning, and spark? What are you a conduit for?

Writing is many things to me. It’s my work, my passion, my loudspeaker, which lets my voice be heard. And it’s my way of connecting with others.

If I had to pick a theme that shows up in all of my writing – regardless of the topic – it’d be kinship. I write to let readers know that they’re not alone; to let them know that “yep, me, too,” because when I read writing like that, it eases my heart. It feels amazing and soothing to know that someone has been there.

I also write to help readers learn to be kinder to themselves and others. To share good information and resources. (That’s one of the reasons I love talking to different researchers, coaches and clinicians. And I definitely learn so much myself!)

What’s a hunger you used to deny that you now happily satisfy? How has this effected you?

I used to deny myself so many things – everything from dessert to compassion to authenticity. I used to think that I had to diet and lose weight in order to be likeable, worthy and confident. In other words, I used to think that I had to earn these things – and looking a certain way would be my currency.

Even if I’d eat dessert it was always with unease. I’d gobble it up or shove it in, as though it was my last meal. Inevitably a stifling kind of shame would wash over me, as though I’d just committed some injustice.

I rarely let myself off the hook for anything. Everything I did could’ve been better. Everyone around me was better. I filled my life with “shoulds,” – what I should like, what I should dislike, what I should wear, what I should do.

When I think about it I really just built a fence around all my hungers, whether it was a hunger for food, a hunger for care or a hunger for self-expression. When I was restricting what I was eating or bingeing on foods that didn’t even satisfy me, I didn’t realize that this colored my entire life. That this was basically a metaphor for the shaky relationship I had with myself.

Now I savor dessert (and a wide variety of foods…yum!). Now I try to be kind and compassionate toward myself. To understand that I’m human, that mistakes are OK. That flaws aren’t fatal. They just are.

I focus on activities that bring meaning and make me happy. I tune into my body’s cues, my needs. I try to live life with all my senses. I spend time with people I love who genuinely love me, too, and have my back.

Living this way has helped me to breathe better. I think that’s the best way to describe what’s changed. I know myself so much more today than I ever did. I believe in myself so much more than I ever did.

I still struggle. I still get super insecure. (That poetry e-book is a good example.) I still forget certain lessons. I still hyperfocus on my shortcomings and gloss over my strengths.

But now I can recognize these struggles. Now I know my mean thoughts are not facts. Now I bounce back faster, and I cope with them in healthy and respectful ways. But, mostly, now I feed my hungers.

Favorite bite in recent memory?

A medium-well steak smothered in Asiago cheese with a butter-and-sour-cream baked potato, grilled asparagus and a glass of Riesling at Ruby Tuesday’s of all places. Man, was it good!

September 25, 2012

I’m sick as a dog today. Wicked sore throat. Fever last night.

But the worst part isn’t how I feel, it’s that I had to reschedule my four clients today because I’m in no shape to coach.

I love coaching. I love my clients. I love my coaching colleagues. Waking up everyday that I get to do this work is the biggest blessing I’ve known.

While the coaching industry goes through a sort of boom, it’s common for people to think that becoming a successful coach is easy. It’s not. There are reasons that those of us who are making a real living and having real impact are doing it.

If you want to be a life coach or you are a life coach but you’re struggling, check out The Coaching Blueprint a wonderful program from my colleague and friend Kate Swoboda. You might know her as Kate Courageous – a moniker she embodies. It’s one of the few programs out there I fully endorse. It really is a product that over-delivers. I wonder where I’d be today if I’d had it when I started out.

Kate is wise, dedicated, and uber-engaged. She’s also one of my favorite well-fed women.

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Kate, what are you TRULY hungry for?

Authentic connection. For me, that means the type of connection where people really show who they are, even their rough edges, because that’s the truest gift of connection–being held exactly for who we are, where we are, as we are. I’m hungry for being seen in that space, too–for surrounding myself with the people who wouldn’t let one bad day or experience define me in their minds. I’m hungry for compassion and ferocious love of the highest order.

What’s a craving that you previously denied that you now happily satisfy? How has that impacted you?

I have become a total hugger and a crier. I used to be one of those people who felt awkward around hugging. Now I’m like, “Can I GIVE YOU A HUG?” I also used to be one of those people who was so embarrassed by my crying that I’d get that terrible choked-up sensation in my throat to keep the tears from pouring forth. Now I’m fairly open about letting them flow.

The internal critic I had around those two would tell me that both hugging and crying were “Sappy.” BUT–the simple acts of opening to physical affection with others, and the vulnerability of being transparent when something tugs at my heart strings, has opened me up to so much love that I now trust the impulse. I understand now that being unwilling to hug and cry are walls that we erect between ourselves–we think we have to know someone “really well” to do those things.

Hogwash! Next time you see me at a conference, ask me for a hug (especially if you’re having a bad day, because my hugs are AWESOME). Cry with me and beside me, as needed.

What are you a conduit for?

Courage, especially of the truth-telling variety. I’m a conduit for working with fear differently, for re-defining your relationship with fear rather than trying to bat fear away.

I’m a big proponent of people having the lives they want to have. It’s that simple. If you’re my friend and you’re talking about something you want and how it would never happen, expect the next two words out of my mouth to be, “Why not?” And if you tell me a bunch of reasons why not, I’ll probably then say, “I totally hear you. But still–why not? Surely there’s a way. How can I help?”

Favorite bite in recent memory?

Oh, god–can’t do just a bite–it’s gotta be an experience. The two-taco plate with avocado added and cilantro-jalapeno sauce at Cafe Zazzle in Petaluma, followed by the gluten-free fig cake for dessert at Wild Goat Bistro, followed by a walk and lots of laughter and conversation with my gorgeous man along the Petaluma River. We do this a few times a month. It’s nourishment inside and out.

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Thanks Kate! To learn about what all she’s up to check out her wonderful website Your Courageous Life and if you’re interested in The Coaching Blueprint, I can’t recommend it enough. 

 

August 28, 2012

Tiffany Moore is like an Everlasting Gobstopper. Yeah, the Wonka candy.

When you first taste her she’s sweet, full of light, and love, like cotton candy. But you keep on tasting and then comes the sass, the wham-bam wit and the curse words (oh my!). Next you discover that she’s full of wisdom and life smarts (key coaching qualities). She’s a multi-course meal and delicious wow. And like the Everlasting Gobstopper, there’s always a new surprise that leaves you wanting more.

I’ve known Tiffany for several years and it’s been so fun to watch her come into her own as a life coach. Today is her debutante ball…her introduction into society…her new website has launched, her services are upgraded and polished, and her special Gobstopper-brand of wisdom, shared on her blog, is at it’s best.

If you’re in the market for a coach (other than you know who ;))…make sure Tiffany is on your radar. She’s one of a kind and oh-so-good at what she does. One thing she’s known for is asking big questions…like…BIG questions. And it’s because she does this in her own life that shes lived her way into being one of the most wonderful well-fed women I know.

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Tiffany, what are you TRULY hungry for?

Space, quiet, time to create.

It’s about accountability – what I’m truly hungry for is to be accountable to myself first, taking care of my own things before everyone else’s. This is something I’ve been working towards in the last few months. How do I unapologetically (that’s the key!) put myself first and make sure that I’m honoring what I really need in this life?

What’s a craving that you previously denied that you now happily satisfy? How has this impacted you?

I have started being at peace with my instinct and what I really want, learning to tell the difference between what is right for my life and what is simply a good idea. I’m letting go of trying to make myself feel a certain way or get behind a specific idea when I know that it just isn’t right for me. Not being right for me is a good enough reason not to do something.

I’m consistently asking myself how do I own my truths – the things I know in my soul – even if they might not lead to the most popular answer? The key to my best life doesn’t involve winning a popularity contest. This has created some challenges for me in the immediate – people don’t like it when you buck the system! – but I know that it will ultimately do nothing but serve me.

What are you a conduit for? What comes through with ease, meaning, and spark?

Joy. Enthusiasm. Humor. Love. When I was younger, I used to be self-conscious about my smile and my good cheer. I was always “that happy girl.” Now I realize that it is one of the most amazing things about me – this is my spark. You can be happy and fierce all at the same time – they don’t cancel each other out.

Favorite bite in recent memory?

Can I say a sip? I had a delicious glass of champagne just last night at a friend’s housewarming party, surrounded by amazing people. It’s really all about the people.

posted in full living / interviews

Hi, I'm Rachel

I am a life coach and fierce advocate for women feeding their truest hungers. I'm also a curator of inspiration and this is where I share the wisdom I've gained, words that trigger deep reflection, and resources to help you live your most well-fed life. Feast onward.

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