Pursuing a well-fed life is not one long buffet table of awesome-sauce.
When you agree that your hungers are wise and that you are worthy of being fed, you also agree to experience being hungry.
And most of us don’t enjoy being hungry. In fact, many of us will do anything to avoid this particular flavor of lack.
To avoid feeling our longing and desire we put our hungers in the back of the closet, or in the attic, or behind the stove. Anywhere out of reach of our conscious experience. And to keep them there, we numb ourselves through all the usual suspects: food, shopping, alcohol, staring at screens, and so forth.
And the result of putting our hungers away, in an effort to not feel hungry, is that we are then rarely, if ever, feel fed. Quite simply, it’s hard to feed a hunger that we’re actively denying.
The solution: play the odds.
I can’t promise you that if you walk the path of a Well-Fed Woman that 100% of your hungers will be fed, 100% of the time, with minimal discomfort or waiting.
What I can promise is that the first option—stuffing them down or denying them—has a near 0% success rate when it comes to living a happy life.
The second option—saying yes to your hungers—the option I’m advocating for, will always lead you somewhere very fulfilling.
I can also promise that the discomfort of being hungry won’t kill you. And, perhaps more importantly, I can promise that hunger becomes significantly less uncomfortable the more we have a ‘yes’ relationship to it.
Much of the discomfort we experience around being hungry comes from anxiety and fear that we might not ever be fed or get enough. But women committed to living well-fed lives, over time, we establish a pattern of feeding ourselves and tending to our hungers, such that the anxious (and previously starved) part of us becomes reconditioned to trust that hunger is just a precursor to delicious satiation.
So yes, if you want to be a Well-Fed Woman you will experience periods of hunger. Some will last mere minutes and some will last many years. And the reward for your courage to feel these wise messages will be a life far more satisfying than if you deny your wants.
In my book, this is a risk always worth taking because the odds are in your favor.