Many might assume that as a well-fed woman–as the poster-woman for well-fed living–and an avid Pinterest user that I would have a board dedicated to delicious, sumptuous foods.
I don’t collect gorgeous images of food to drool over because food isn’t an obsession for me anymore. At one point in my life, scouring food blogs, food porn on TV, and collecting recipes was a way to distract myself from the fact that I was starving. Years after I began to simply feed myself everything I was truly hungry for these mediums feel empty to me.
The truth is, my real life is often like a living pinterest board of gorgeous food. Whereas I might not (yet) get to put on that incredible sequin gown or swim in my own gorgeous indoor pool at home, I can cook like a rockstar.
I don’t need to look at it when I can simply eat it.
I’m personally rarely inspired by images of food. I want to smell it, touch it, and taste it.
The other, less central reason I don’t collect food images on Pinterest is because I’m conscious that others who haven’t yet become rooted in their own internal hungers look to me for guidance. I do not want people to compare what they eat to what I eat (or pin) and use it as a way to judge themselves.
We live in this ridiculous time of online hero worship and as much nonsense as it is, people do project stories on to me like “She has it all figured out” and “I bet she has a perfect diet” and “There’s no way she eats the crap I eat.”
I don’t want to play that game. I don’t want women using images of food I pin as tools for comparison, projection, or mimicry. I want followers of my work to come home to themselves and their own hungers. It’s my belief that my pinning food isn’t part of that.
If you have food board on pinterest, there is nothing–absolutely nothing–wrong with that. Many people use Pinterest to organize their “recipes to cook” file or because food photography is a beautiful art. That said, if you have such a board, check in with yourself on how you use it. Is it so you can drool of over dishes you won’t allow yourself? Do you use it to collect recipes that are low-calorie, low-fat, or low-carb? In other words, is it a tool in your toolbox of dietary control and disconnection?
Food for thought.
Now come on over and check out how awesome these dogs are!
This week during Wild Writing we were given the prompt “clicking clicking” a taken from a Marie Howe poem. I admit though that I thought about naming it “This is Your Brain Online.”
We are to take the prompt and write, non-stop, for 15 minutes. We are to write quickly, pen not leaving the paper, so as to short-circuit our inner-cleverness and attempts to be ‘good’ writers.
What I wrote is true. What I wrote is not a ‘whoa is me’ whine. It’s not a complaint. It’s an extraction of my own monkey mind shared in service of all of our awakening.
I’m sharing it because I want to remind us all that we’re not so different from each other. I’m sharing it because I want to highlight the deafening noise so many of us choose to live with. I’m sharing it because I want to encourage all of us to take a stand against the draining of our ease.
what if you could watch someone’s internet use over their shoulder.
The clicking clicking
Another email inbox, in another browser.
Chrome. Safari. Oh and Firefox too, for Infusionsoft.
Then Pinterest and HuffPo for soothing and distraction.
Google Drive with three half written blog posts. Inspiration petering out into insecurity.
That YouTube video of the cute dog singing.
iMovie and the video you agreed to record for another’s e-course. Get the lighting right. Set the laptop on a stack of cookbooks.
Google calendar, when’s my next client? Where’s the time to write? Or take a nap?
What’s new on J.Crew?
Everyone’s Retweeting her piece, I should read it.
Paypal. Who do I owe? Who owes me?
Kaiser Permanente. Messaging Dr. Wang, I think my throat is sick again. When can I come in?
Do I have time to watch The Bachelor?
That David Leibovitz ginger cake recipe. I should get a shopping list together.
“Five Things You Should Take Off Your Site Right Now” Phew, I don’t have any of those.
Evites and Skype calls and hours lost in Photoshop and on Etsy.
He sends a link. I send one back. And so it goes.
Southwest. Got my ticket to Vegas. Should I get the others?
3 am. Can’t sleep. Lance Armstrong, with Spanish subtitles. The whole three hours.
Did anyone like my Instagram photo? Phone in one hand, the other resting on the keyboard.
Not really getting anywhere. Inbox at 50. Down to 30. Up to 44. There’s no winning.
Requests. Request. Requests.
Clients in need. Clients in fogs. Clients in joy.
An invitation to teach.
A reminder I’m late.
20 newsletters I never read.
a photo of my sister’s pregnant belly.
Amazon. Adding to my cart.
Moo.com is having a 25% off sale. Should I order? I don’t need anything.
A friend’s salacious email i’m bcc’d on.
The Milo Foundation. Who’s up for adoption? And Craigslist. What do houses cost?
Make the haircut appointment online. Cancel the haircut appointment online.
What’s really happening here?
Print by Mati Rose
i’m hungry for baking in slow motion and warm cookies dipped in whole milk.
i’m craving silliness and surrender, the kind that happens with friends when the world has worn us down and we play.
i deeply hunger to feel vital. to feel breathed. to feel anchored in this body. able to receive. pleasured in giving.
i hunger for moments of expansion. becoming an aunt. teaching in a foreign country. loving betterbigger.
i’m voracious for ease. soft bellies. fresh air wandering. the piercing silence of sabbath.
hair chopped short. perhaps. soon.
circle upon circle upon circle upon circle of women. well. fed. women.
this year. this new year. i am hungry to rise. i am hungry for more slurp-worthy noodles.
this year. i am hungry, like so often, for more, red. hot. lips.
i’m hungry for adele to offer fresh sounds. for beautiful collaborations with kindred powerhouses. for blessings on every check written and every dollar received.
i’m mad with hunger for all women to be free from violence.
i’m hungry for crispy roast chicken thighs. for breakfast porridge parties. for the continued releasing of shoulds and for the feast of wants.