September 25, 2012

I’m sick as a dog today. Wicked sore throat. Fever last night.

But the worst part isn’t how I feel, it’s that I had to reschedule my four clients today because I’m in no shape to coach.

I love coaching. I love my clients. I love my coaching colleagues. Waking up everyday that I get to do this work is the biggest blessing I’ve known.

While the coaching industry goes through a sort of boom, it’s common for people to think that becoming a successful coach is easy. It’s not. There are reasons that those of us who are making a real living and having real impact are doing it.

If you want to be a life coach or you are a life coach but you’re struggling, check out The Coaching Blueprint a wonderful program from my colleague and friend Kate Swoboda. You might know her as Kate Courageous – a moniker she embodies. It’s one of the few programs out there I fully endorse. It really is a product that over-delivers. I wonder where I’d be today if I’d had it when I started out.

Kate is wise, dedicated, and uber-engaged. She’s also one of my favorite well-fed women.


Kate, what are you TRULY hungry for?

Authentic connection. For me, that means the type of connection where people really show who they are, even their rough edges, because that’s the truest gift of connection–being held exactly for who we are, where we are, as we are. I’m hungry for being seen in that space, too–for surrounding myself with the people who wouldn’t let one bad day or experience define me in their minds. I’m hungry for compassion and ferocious love of the highest order.

What’s a craving that you previously denied that you now happily satisfy? How has that impacted you?

I have become a total hugger and a crier. I used to be one of those people who felt awkward around hugging. Now I’m like, “Can I GIVE YOU A HUG?” I also used to be one of those people who was so embarrassed by my crying that I’d get that terrible choked-up sensation in my throat to keep the tears from pouring forth. Now I’m fairly open about letting them flow.

The internal critic I had around those two would tell me that both hugging and crying were “Sappy.” BUT–the simple acts of opening to physical affection with others, and the vulnerability of being transparent when something tugs at my heart strings, has opened me up to so much love that I now trust the impulse. I understand now that being unwilling to hug and cry are walls that we erect between ourselves–we think we have to know someone “really well” to do those things.

Hogwash! Next time you see me at a conference, ask me for a hug (especially if you’re having a bad day, because my hugs are AWESOME). Cry with me and beside me, as needed.

What are you a conduit for?

Courage, especially of the truth-telling variety. I’m a conduit for working with fear differently, for re-defining your relationship with fear rather than trying to bat fear away.

I’m a big proponent of people having the lives they want to have. It’s that simple. If you’re my friend and you’re talking about something you want and how it would never happen, expect the next two words out of my mouth to be, “Why not?” And if you tell me a bunch of reasons why not, I’ll probably then say, “I totally hear you. But still–why not? Surely there’s a way. How can I help?”

Favorite bite in recent memory?

Oh, god–can’t do just a bite–it’s gotta be an experience. The two-taco plate with avocado added and cilantro-jalapeno sauce at Cafe Zazzle in Petaluma, followed by the gluten-free fig cake for dessert at Wild Goat Bistro, followed by a walk and lots of laughter and conversation with my gorgeous man along the Petaluma River. We do this a few times a month. It’s nourishment inside and out.


Thanks Kate! To learn about what all she’s up to check out her wonderful website Your Courageous Life and if you’re interested in The Coaching Blueprint, I can’t recommend it enough.