What I've been chewing on lately...

February 26, 2012

Adele Portrait

Pema Chödrön. Brene Brown. Geneen Roth. Anne Lamott. Jen Louden. Elizabeth Lesser. Michelle Obama. Adele. Oprah. Eve Ensler. Anita Roberts.

What do all of these women have in common aside from being creators of profound works of art and dispensers of wisdom?

They are all totally, utterly, self-centered.

I’m not just hurling insults here. These feminoms (female phenomenons) are centered deeply within themselves and this, I’ll wager, is a key to their “role-model” status.

Here is what I know about self-centered women:

Self-centered women are not easily blown over by the gusts of other people’s opinions, agendas, or problems coming their way. Their strong center keeps them steady.

Self-centered women know themselves. Intimately. The smooth and the rough. Their ego and their Self.

Self-centered women don’t put others before themselves to the point that they have nothing left. In turn, they have more to give to everyone.

Self-centered women know life isn’t tit for tat. They can receive without “earning” it and they can give without expectation of reciprocation.

Self-centered women are powered sustainably from a renewable source, rather than from  the validation, approval, and attention of outside and temporary sources.

Self-centered women are their own compass. Their own north-stars. They navigate these choppy waters as an eye in the storm. This is why we so often take refuge in their work, words, and presence.

They are lighthouses for the rest of us because they are lighthouses for themselves.


Reflect: can you trace any of your struggles back to a lack of self-centering?

Reflect: how would your life be richer, deeper, or more powerful if you were more self-centered?

Reflect: When did you stop being self-centered? Age 1? Age 12? Age 18? When was it you moved out of your lighthouse?

Imagine: A world where all women are self-centered and move through their lives with strong roots from which to draw life. Imagine.